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The Simple Trick to Creating Affirmations That Work Even When You’re Not Feeling It

“I am beautiful”
“I love myself”
“I have all that I need”

Can you say these statements from you heart with conviction?

If not, don’t fret — I have a solution for you!

Affirmations are small mental shifts that we can make to move our attention away from thoughts that weigh us down, and towards thoughts that lift us up.

This, by the way, is what Yoga is all about: making the unconscious conscious and then choosing to focus our mind one that which brings more joy!

So what about when you just don’t believe the affirmation? Should you keep repeating it even though you feel like you’re lying to yourself?

The jury is still out on that, but I’ll give you my two cents based on personal experiences and those of my students:

When I repeat an affirmation that I don’t believe, I will say that it certainly doesn’t hurt. Even if only on a subtle level, the positive words send my body and mind uplifting vibrations. I do, however, believe there is a better way!

Here is the trick: add some variation of the phrase “I am learning to…” at the beginning of the affirmation.

Here are some examples of how to tweak the affirmations above so they are true for you and uplifting:

“I am willing to see my beauty”
“I am learning to love myself”
“I am open to seeing that I have all I need”

How does that feel?

The more I can mentally or verbally repeat an affirmation with sincerity, the more I feel the shift. It takes practice to find the language that works for you, so start today, and watch what happens!

Why You Should Ignore Marie Forleo’s Advice

I am undoubtedly a fan of lady boss, Marie Forleo. She confidently uses her voice, trusts her instincts, and empowers others to pursue our dreams courageously. I have so much respect for Marie as a woman, an entrepreneur, and a fellow seeker of a vibrant life.

I have to be honest, though. I cannot stand behind Marie’s mantra “Everything is Figureoutable.” Let me explain…

To be clear, I absolutely see value in her assertion. The bottom line of her speech is that when we believe in our ability to overcome obstacles and push through roadblocks with persistence, we live more abundant lives. I’m with you Marie!

I also, however, see potential for a monumental pitfall in this belief.

As much as I agree that we can benefit from owning how much power we have over our own lives, believing that EVERYthing is figureoutable can inhibit us from relying on something even more powerful than we are.

You see, if everything was figureoutable, than parenting would be so much less scary, career paths would be more straightforward, and we would be able to resolve political battles. If everything is figureoutable, where is the damn manual? I certainly didn’t get one.

You know what my mantra is?

“Everything is surrenderable.”

Have you ever…

…banged your head against a wall trying to find a solution to the same problem only to come up empty handed and exhausted?

…witnessed someone you love make choices that hurt them, over and over again?

…watched yourself make the same misstep over and over, even though you “know better?”

Some things are beyond “figuring out.” When we have exhausted our limited human resources (our intellect, help from others, inner wisdom, etc.), the missing ingredient is surrender.

Not sure when you will find the loving partner you are searching for? Surrender.

At a loss for how to support your child struggling with anxiety? Surrender.

Frustrated with the sorrow you see in the world around you? Surrender.

Surrender to the reality that much of life is beyond your ability to control. Release your need to be the hero. Do your part: show up wholeheartedly, reach out for support, give it your all. Then, let go of the need to figure it out. Let go of the belief that you can come up with the solution using reason alone. Open yourself up to be guided, and trust that you already are.