How I Maintain Serenity When Things Don’t Go As Planned - Kelsey Delane Yoga
When life takes an unexpected turn, I use the tools of my yoga practice to embrace the moment and go with the flow.

How I Maintain Serenity When Things Don’t Go As Planned

I just returned home after an ultrasound and meeting with my midwife. At 34 weeks and 2 days, baby Ginny is measuring in the 5th percentile for abdominal size, and 12th percentile overall. My husband and I are both tall, so we would expect our baby to be on the higher side of average. Ginny’s size is alarming because it could indicate that she isn’t getting the proper nourishment she needs in utero. We first discovered her small size last week, and this week was no different.

I’m now on a regimen of twice weekly scans to diligently monitor her growth. I could be induced any day if we have reason to believe she’s not thriving based on unsafe measurements in growth, blood flow or fluid levels.

This isn’t the news any mama wants to hear. This means that I am no longer a candidate for the home birth I’d envisioned. It’s scary to think that my baby could be in danger, and of course my first instinct is to blame myself. I immediately thought “I’m not doing a good job taking care of my baby.” I’m wrestling with myself right now. I’m upset that I’ve been indulging in sugar and paying little attention to my protein intake. I’ve prioritized work over self care more often than I want to admit. I’ve allowed the fear of financial insecurity during maternity leave to propel me into overdrive, and that stops now.

Of course my midwife reassured me that there is no fault here, yet I can provide Ginny with the best odds by giving her the best nutrition possible.

It doesn’t serve me, or Ginny, to remain in a mindset of blame and fear. Ginny is the size that she is. I cannot undo the way I’ve been feeding myself up to this point. When I surrender to this truth, I can focus on where I do have some power: over my choices moving forward.

My sweet husband is helping rid the house of my Achilles heel: sweets! The Costco box of rice crispy treats, the Girl Scout cookie stash and the cupcakes are being replaced with nuts and hummus. I have an alarm on my phone to remind me to eat every two hours, and I’m using an app to track my nourishment throughout the day. These things are within my ability to control, and this is where I will focus my energy.

We are scared, and that’s okay. My Yoga practice has taught me how to hold two opposing things at the same time. I can rest assured that I have the tools to respond to whatever comes of this challenge, and still acknowledge that it’s super scary. I can use this experience as an opportunity to surrender to that which is beyond my control, and practice my intention for 2018: Faith

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

With this shift in focus, I will be putting work on the back burner. My one priority will be nourishing myself and Ginny and preparing for her arrival. I absolutely love this online community, and am so grateful to know that my decision to temporarily step away will be fully supported. Thank you <3

Kelsey Delane

Kelsey Delane (she/her) E-RYT500, RYPT, YACEP With over a decade of teaching experience & well over 1000 hours of formal training in the fields of yoga & birth, Kelsey Delane has become one of Orange County’s leading teacher trainers & birth educators. Her heart’s desire is to de-mystify the time-tested wisdom of Yoga and to hold the hand of her students while they explore new ways of being in their body, heart and mind. Kelsey's especially passionate about pregnancy & birth because of the power these thresholds hold to radically transform both individuals & society at large. She's committed to using her layers of privilege to create a world where all birthing people have access to the wraparound resources for wellbeing on all layers of Self.

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Jamie Hanson - March 16, 2018

Hi love. My sweet Luisa was born at 33 weeks. It was scary and I also had to surrender to a different birth scenario. But, the care she received at Saddleback NICU was top notch and she is thriving. I pray your little gets to stay warm and cozy in your womb for a few weeks longer. Reach out to me if you want to chat at anytime❤️

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Thank you Jaime for sharing your experience. It’s encouraging to know other mamas and babie have walked through challenges and come out the other side, thriving.

Des - March 16, 2018

This too shall pass…breathe.

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Indeed <3

Erin Lassen - March 16, 2018

Okay sweet girl,
Prayer for you and Ginny.
But let me try to give you something to think on…
Birth size wise…
Uncle Fred weighed 12.7 1/2 #s @birth
From a 4’ft Tall Mama, chain smoker…
He became an Average adult male 10 ‘1/2 feet Tall
Now I had a little 6.12# Baby Girl
7 days pass due date and a 9.6# Baby Boy 14 days pass due date

Our Jonathan was a very complicated pregnancy, my water broke 10 weeks early.
Then 3 weeks later
Born 7 1/2 weeks too early ,
Weighing 5.8 oz’ and was home healthy in 5 days!
Now He’s more than 6ft Tall.
So call me if you ever want to talk
About pregancy stress and coping in scary times.
Love you dearly, Auntie Erin

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Sweet Auntie Erin, thank you for sharing so much hope and strength with me! It lifts my spirit to know how much love and support o have and how resilient our little ones are <3

Cheri - March 16, 2018

I love you and if you need anything call me. Fern and I will bring your a protein of your choice and plenty of laughter. xoxo

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Thank you Cheri! I’m so inspired by women like you who share their hearts and stories candidly and courageously. Thank you for reminding me of the tribe I have willing to support me along the journey <3

Julie White - March 16, 2018

Praying for all of you Kelsey ?

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Thank you Julie!

Nicole Mixdorf - March 19, 2018

Hang in there mama! Same thing happened to me. I was diagnosed with a grade 3 placenta at 29 weeks and he stopped growing at 31 weeks. I had an unplanned C at 35 weeks 6 days, to a healthy, albeit tiny 3 lb 9 oz boy. My yoga birth plan went out the window. He thrived as soon as he came out, quickly gaining weight. He’s almost 3 years old now and you’d never know he started out so small. So many blessings came out of the experience. Happy to share with you. Please know there’s nothing you did wrong. Just take it easy and surrender to what is. Everything is going to be okay. It’s going to look different than you originally planned, but that’s okay. Keep sending your baby love and focusing on that sweet moment you get to hold her in your arms.

    Kelsey Delane - March 19, 2018

    Wow, what a gift to have a thriving three year old! Thank you for this encouragement, it truly means so much. I have been given such a beautiful opportunity to practice letting go of my attachment to the outcome, and it’s so much easier to do with all the love and support being poured out <3

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